


This Time

by lovepollution



Category: Molly Maxwell (2013)
Genre: Age Difference, Awkwardness, Backstory, Canada, Canon Continuation, Canon Het Relationship, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Dating, F/M, Feelings, Five Years Later, Fix-It, Flirting, Former Student-Teacher Relationship, Getting Back Together, Guilt, Headcanon, In Character, Introspection, Kissing, Love, Meeting the Parents, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Nervousness, Older Man/Younger Woman, Pillow Talk, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, References to Canon, Reflection, Resolved Sexual Tension, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Romance, Self-Reflection, Teacher-Student Relationship, Toronto, Wish Fulfillment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-11-12 14:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18013070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovepollution/pseuds/lovepollution
Summary: Five years on, Ben and Molly reconnect.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The premise of this fic is something I've been wanting to read ever since I saw the movie a couple of years ago, so I figured maybe it was time I just got on with it and wrote it myself.
> 
> I originally planned this as a one-shot, but I find it a little easier to motivate myself when something is broken down into chapters, so here it is as a multi-chapter fic.
> 
> If Molly and Ben's relationship isn't your thing, I'll give you a fair warning and say you should probably leave now because I don't think this will be for you. :)

Molly almost dropped her coffee when she walked past the bar and saw the name chalked on the board. It was a name she found in her thoughts frequently.

Ben Carter.

Ben Carter was playing a gig there, that night. But was it _her_ Ben Carter? The one whose world she had turned upside down those five years past? It was a fairly common name, but knowing that Ben had played music made her feel pretty confident it was him.

Realising there was a much simpler way to answer her question, she sat down on a nearby bench and got out her phone. Typing ‘Ben Carter musician’ into Google, she held her breath waiting for the results to appear.

Sure enough, pictures of the Ben she’d known popped up. The majority of the images were of him playing drums in his former band, but there were some more recent shadowy ones of him performing in various bars; only one of the newer images was clear enough to really make out his face and seeing him again made her smile.

Molly felt so stupid for not looking him up like this earlier. A few months earlier she’d been having trouble sleeping and her mind invariably drifted by to him. She had sat up in bed and grabbed her laptop, taking a few seconds to gather her courage over what she might find before opening the computer and searching for his name via Facebook. But alas, her search had been fruitless. There were so many Ben Carters and narrowing it down by the school he’d taught at, along with his birthdate, had proved useless. No results showing, she’d shut her laptop and tried to sleep, putting the idea out of her mind.

Chewing on her bottom lip, Molly mulled over the question that weighed heavy on her: should she go there that night? Five years was a long time after all: he could be married with kids (shamefully she found herself checking the images for a wedding ring and felt selfishly relieved when she didn’t see one, which while not proof he’d spent the time since she’d seen him pining over her, gave her some glimmer hope). Still, she thought, he probably saw her as some dumb schoolgirl who was now a long distant memory.

But she had to try though, right? She knew if she didn’t go and at least watch him perform, she’d face a future of eternal regret on those nights that she couldn’t sleep.

For the rest of the day, her stomach was tied in knots at the thought of seeing him again. She had photos to develop, but her mind was too scattered to keep on the job in hand. When she decided to take a shower and get ready for the evening ahead, all hell broke loose courtesy of a burst pipe.

The bust pipe had set her plans back and she’d had to wait for an emergency plumber to arrive, so she later found herself dashing down the busy street on the way to Ben’s gig. Flustered, Molly gave hurried words of “Excuse me” and “I’m sorry” as she pushed through the groups of people lining the sidewalk.

Finally arriving at the bar, Molly rushed in only to find Ben had already begun his set. Slipping in near the back of the standing audience, she did her best to go unnoticed. Looking at the stage, her heart began to race in a way it hadn’t in the years since she’d seen him.

He cut a striking figure on stage. He looked essentially the same as Molly remembered, although his hair was cropped a couple of inches shorter. From the way he was singing, she could tell this was something he’d been doing at least somewhat regularly since she last saw him; there was a practised ease and confidence now to his stage presence, but every so often Molly saw brief glimpses - undetectable by the rest of the crowd - of the under-confident solo performer he once been.

“Thank you,” Ben said as the crowd’s applause died down post-song and he gave himself a second to drink his beer. “I’ve got one more for you tonight.” A crowd member jokingly booed. “I know, I know, you’re devastated,” he dead-panned. “So yeah, thank you for coming out.” He began to fiddle with the tuning on his guitar before hastily adding: “I’ve got a few CDs for sale, remember those?” The crowd laughed. “So erm, come and hit me up at the merch table after this if you’d like one.”

Watching Ben play his final song, Molly tried to convince herself she wasn’t being foolish for coming here and seeing him. There was a huge doubt in her mind as to whether their short-lived and tentative relationship had meant anything near as much to him as it had to her. Yes, she reasoned, he had once told her he risked everything for her, but that was said in anger and voiced as a regret, a regret feared he might still hold. 

Knowing he was finishing soon, Molly couldn’t resist the opportunity to snap a few convert pictures of him on stage. After all, if this was a terrible idea and he never wanted to see her again, at least she got a couple of nice pictures out of it. While live concert photography wasn’t exactly her forte, with such a photogenic subject it was hard to go wrong.

Song finished, Ben graciously accepted the applause from the audience before he left the stage, placed his guitar back in it’s case and went to stand behind the small table holding his CDs. Molly decided it was best that she hung back and waited for the few people who were chatting to Ben and purchasing CDs to disperse. Once they had gone, it was a case of now or never.

By the time Molly reached him, he had bent down to look in his bag.

Sensing the presence of someone without looking up, he spoke: “I’m sorry, but amazingly I just sold the last CD I had with me.”

“That’s OK, I kind of came just to see you.” Molly held her breath wondering if he’d recognise her voice. The pause in his actions and surprise on his face as he stood to look at her told her he did.

“Hi,” she uttered shyly.

“Hi,” he replied utterly stunned that she was standing in front of him. He took a sip of his beer, his mouth suddenly feeling incredibly dry.

A quiet fell between them. Ben opened his mouth to say something before thinking the better of it. As they locked each others gazes, the hum of the bar throbbed as a soundtrack.

Close up, she confirmed to herself he was dashingly handsome as ever in an open button down shirt with a t-shirt and jeans, so much so she found herself wondering why he didn’t have a line of women waiting to chat to him post-performance.

“That was a great set,” Molly finally ventured.

Ben frowned and shook his head. “I’m sorry I can’t hear you in here, can we…?” he gestured to the exit and Molly nodded. Ben leading, the pair walked through the crowd and out into the crisp night air. “That’s better,” he smiled. “It was so loud in there.”

Molly gave him an awkwardly tight smile, and once again they found themselves locked in a heavy silence. As she looked at Ben, Molly felt every bit the same as she’d felt when she was a sixteen-year-old girl taking a forbidden ferry ride with her teacher.

Taking a deep breath, Ben decided it was time to speak. “So, how have you been?”

“Good,” Molly nodded, nervously pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “I went to university, and...I got a degree in Photography.” She phrased it less as a statement and more as a question.

“Wow, OK, that’s amazing,” he said seemingly genuinely pleased for her.

“All thanks to you I guess.” After saying it, her cheeks flushed as memories of their time together flooded her thoughts; in the dim light she was sure she saw Ben’s cheeks flush too.

Taking in Molly’s appearance, Ben saw that she still looked distinctly her, but there were changes to be seen. Where once she had drowned in layers of oversized clothing and baggy jeans, now her appearance was altogether more streamlined; the jeans she had on fitting like a second skin. Her ever present green Converse had been replaced by a pair of flat black scuffed up ankle boots.

More than just her clothing had changed too: her hair was still long, but now fell just a couple of inches past her shoulders instead of trailing down her back. The years had thinned her face a little so that she now looked more young woman than teenager. Along with her expected Chapstick and mascara, she’d taken to regularly wearing eyeliner of late and she liked the extra boost of confidence it gave her.

“So do you have a job now or…?” Ben asking trying his hardest to sound relaxed and unaffected by her presence but feeling anything but.

“I’ve taken some live shots for my dad with his bands, but I kind of want to move more into portrait stuff I think.”

Ben nodded and took a suck of his beer from the bottle. “I’d love to see your work.”

Molly smiled, hoping he meant it and wasn’t just trying to be polite. “How about you, doing the music thing full time?”

“Oh no,” he chuckled. “I mean, I’d love to but the music gods have yet to give me a million dollar record contract.”

“So teaching still?” As much as she tried to sound peppy, Molly found herself foolishly hoping the answer was no; that her impact had been so great that the idea of even innocently mentoring other students was impossible to him.

Casting his gaze away from hers briefly, he answered, “No, not teaching.” He paused and met her eyes in a way that told her hope was more than just that. “I’ve been writing actually. I’ve had a few pieces of poetry published, which helps, but I’m working on a book.”

“Oh, that’s great. I had no idea you wanted to write.”

“Lyrics are poetry remember Molly Maxwell,” he chided with a laugh. “Some of my songs became poems, but the book is...I don’t know, something that crept up on me.”

“I’d love to read some of your work,” Molly said, and Ben felt the same hope that she meant those words as she’d felt when he’d said the same to her.

“I’d like to show it to you. I...” He stopped. “Hang on,” he grabbed his phone from his pocket and tapped the screen before handing it to her. “If you want to give me your number, we could sort something out?”

Molly beamed and quickly added her digits into his contacts. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Me too,” Ben replied unable to hide his joy, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

It took Ben three days to finally pluck up the courage and text Molly. For so long he’d kept a picture of her in his mind, and that picture wouldn’t let him down by not replying or rejecting him the way the real Molly could.

‘Hi, it’s Ben.’ Molly smiled at his text thinking how it was so like him to use proper punctuation and capital letters.

Ben breathed a massive sigh of relief when his phone binged seconds later. ‘Hey,’ she replied.

‘I was wondering, would you like to do something on Saturday?’ came his reply seconds later.

Grinning, Molly replied, ‘I’d really like that :)’

Ben took a nervous breathe before sending his message back. ‘I was thinking ‘the island’ might be fun?’

Molly found herself beaming in response. ‘Sounds good.’

‘Meet you at the ferry 1:30?’

‘See you there :)’

Saturday seemed to both drag and come too quickly. Molly was undoubtedly excited at the prospect of spending the day with Ben, but she was a little nervous too. She planned her outfit a couple of days prior; it was a silly thing, but it helped to ease her nerves knowing she was prepared in some small way.

It was spring and sunny without being overly warm, so she opted for a floral patterned dress that fell a couple of inches above her knee, pairing it with semi-sheer black tights, boots, and a leather jacket. It was smart without being too formal, and casual without looking sloppy.

Timekeeping and Molly were never the best of friends, so it didn’t surprise Ben when she arrived five minutes later than planned to the ferry terminal.

“Sorry I’m late,” she apologised anxiously.

“It’s OK,” he shrugged unbothered. He took in Molly’s appearance and fought the urge to tell her how lovely she looked. “Shall we…?” He gestured towards the boarding ferry.

As best as she could without seeming terribly obvious, Molly soaked Ben’s appearance in as they walked side-by-side. He was dressed similarly to how he’d been when she last saw him - Converse and jeans with a button down shirt only half fastened and exposing a t-shirt underneath - but had added a dark coloured light weight jacket.

Once they were aboard the ferry, they seated themselves side-by-side on a bench above deck looking out at the river.

As he gazed out towards the Toronto skyline that appeared to bob with the movement of the boat, Ben was reminded of how much he loved the place.

He had ended up there initially via a decision to road trip through the States when the band broke up; having seen what he wanted to of America, but not ready to go home, Canada was his next stop. He’d really liked it, especially Toronto, so began casually looking for work; the job at the school felt like the perfect way to utilise his English degree and earn some money. Raymond had had no problem with his lack of experience and training, telling him he thought it’d be an asset in the unconventional school environment he fostered at the Phoenix Progressive School.

He had enjoyed teaching well enough, but it was never a calling for him, more of a temporary job until he figured out what he really wanted to do. The irony of the fact he’d been mentoring Molly and trying to help her discover her passion at a time when he was still looking for his own only dawned on him later. One of the reasons they connected, he had mused, was because they were both still figuring out who they wanted to be.

Ben had never fallen out of love with Toronto, but he needed a change of scenery after leaving his teaching job and having his heart take a plumelling. He needed to sort his head out too; he’d broken rules with Molly that he swore he never would he was questioning everything about himself. He had always wanted to go to Paris, and that seemed like a wonderful place to try and unlock where his passions may lie.

“I tried to look you up on Facebook once.” Molly’s words broke Ben’s thoughts, somehow even taking her by surprise.

“Yeah, I don’t really ‘do’ the whole social media thing anymore,” Ben replied with a wry smile.

“Why am I not surprised? You’re such a Luddite I’m surprised you even have a cellphone!” Molly had fallen easily and unthinkingly back into the cadence of teasing within their relationship, only realising once she’d spoken that it might not be the best way to act around someone you were trying to impress all over again, but for his part, Ben laughed and didn’t seem at all phased.

“I’ve thought about giving it up, but it really does come in handy when you meet a cute girl in a bar and you want to give her your number.”

Molly turn her head and dipped it slightly blushing before meeting his gaze again. “Yeah?”

He looked at her warmly. “Yeah.”

As they alighted the ferry, Ben noticed that the weather was warmer than it had been on that day five-years ago when they’d taken their unauthorised field trip, although the wind was still powerful. The fact that it was a day in late-May made all the difference in terms of what was open and the amount of other people around. It was nice to soak up the atmosphere but it made it feel less intimate compared with their last visit.

They walked side-by-side along the scenic and green paths, both with the slight awkwardness that came with not knowing what to do with their hands. Stopping midway over a bridge, they looked out onto the water that stretched out beneath them.

“It feels kind of weird being back here.” Molly frowned and pursed her lips, her gaze locked onto the water. “The last time I came here was with you.”

“Really?” Ben replied surprised. “I thought this was your favourite place?”

“It was.” She paused considering her next words and then building up the courage to say them. “It is, but I couldn't bring myself to come back...” she trailed off, and even thought she didn’t say it was because of him, Ben knew implicitly that was what she meant.

They turned slightly to face each other as the wind whipped around them, neither of them sure what to say next.

“I...” he began words failing him. Instead of speaking, he reached for Molly’s hand and held it within his own. “Want to go and grab a coffee?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Molly replied with a smile as they walked on hand-in-hand to the cafe.

“So, you know what I’ve been up to with uni, what about you?” she asked some minutes later as Ben seated himself opposite at the table with their drinks. “What made you start writing?”

“Well after…” he fumbled his words slightly unsure of how to describe the events that had taken place between them, but Molly’s gentle smile showed she knew what he meant without having to vocalise it. “I moved away, I lived in Paris for a while.”

“Oh wow.”

“Yeah, I loved it. And because I thought I’d be a _complete_ cliche,” he rolled his eyes at himself, “that’s where I started to really write. But, I met someone...” he shifted his gaze awkwardly as Molly’s stomach dropped. “And she was from Toronto, and she wanted to move back so we did.”

Her face fell. “Oh,” was all she could think to add.

Ben swallowed. “We were engaged, actually.”

“You were...engaged?” Molly questioned surprised, a knot of hypocritical jealousy forming in her stomach; it wasn’t as if she’d acted like a nun herself these past five years.

“Yeah, it...didn’t work out, in the end,” he admitted.

“I’m sorry.” She tried her best to sound sincere but honestly, she wasn’t at all sorry to hear he was neither engaged nor married.

He shrugged. “No, it was for the best.” He locked eyes with Molly after he spoke giving the words a heaviness that made her stomach flip. “But how about you? You...enjoyed your time at university?”

“Oh yeah, it was fun, but…” She frowned. “I was kind of over the whole partying thing pretty quickly.”

“For a lot of students it’s their first taste of freedom,” Ben philosophied before adding with a raised eyebrow, “but _they_ didn’t go to Phoenix.”

“Yeah,” Molly nodded in agreed amusement.

She knew Ben was likely right. But she _had_ enjoyed university, at first anyway. The parties and drinking had been fun, but she found the novelty wore off rather quickly. Her peers had come from more traditional school backgrounds, and usually with correspondingly stricter parents, so they had taken the freedom they’d finally been afforded to extremes. To them, alcohol, drugs, and even sex, had been so restricted before that they went overboard indulging in those pursuits.

Molly had always been given the freedom to be her own person and express herself however she saw fit. By the time she arrived at university, she felt emotionally years ahead of her classmates and had long outgrown the desire to shock or rebel.

This wasn’t to say she had a miserable time before she did have fun: she made friends, enjoyed her course, went out in the evenings, and even had a couple of semi-long term relationships. But once those three years were coming to a close, she felt ready to leave and strike out alone, unsure as she was as to what exactly that would look like.

“So did you…” Ben said before stopping himself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even...” he shook her head.

“Go on,” Molly encouraged having a good idea where this line of questioning was leading.

“I told you I was engaged, so I suppose I was just wondering...” he winced at his own words, realising how prying he seemed.

“If I had any relationships?” she asked the question in his place and he nodded sheepishly as his hand rubbed the back of his neck. “I had a couple of boyfriends, yeah.”

Ben nodded.

“But nothing that...lasted, if that’s what you mean.”

“I shouldn’t even be asking, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Molly reached for his hand across the table. “I’m glad you asked.”

“Yeah?” Ben asked, intertwining his fingers with hers.

“Yeah,” she beamed.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in easy chatter as they wandered hand-in-hand over paths like the ones they’d walked on their previous visit.

It was dark by the time they finally boarded the ferry. They stood together on the deck, the wind blowing in a way that echoed the return trip they made five years previously.

“I had a great time today,” Ben told Molly, his hand still firmly clasped in hers.

“I did too.” She swallowed as she looked steady into his eyes.

It was hard to say who initiated the kiss first, but the moment their lips connected, the time they’d spent apart melted away. If Molly had tried to remember exactly how Ben used to kiss her, she was certain she’d have struggled, but when her lips parted and his tongue slid in, it felt so natural, like they hadn’t spent five minutes apart, let alone five years.

He smelled the same too, she realised. His scent was clean and fresh with a slightly woody undertone. Rationally, she knew this was down to the soap or deodorant he used, but the romantic in her would rather think of it as something unique to him that could never be replicated on anyone else.

Her fingers weaved their way into the hair at the nape of his neck, while his hand came to rest on her shoulders and pull her closer.

Once their mouths parted, he held her face in his hand and brushed his thumb over her cheek.

“I’ve missed this,” he sighed. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too,” she replied before leaning in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now you're read what has become my headcanon for Ben in regards to his backstory. Re. teaching and him not having a specific qualification in it, I know here in the UK you don't need a teaching qualification to teach in a privately funded school (which is what Phoenix appears to be in the model of), and my research told me it's [the same in Canada](https://www.trade-schools.net/ca/articles/become-a-teacher.asp#without-a-degree) (and [more specifically Toronto](https://www.ourkids.net/ontario-private-schools.php)), so I went with that because I never saw Ben as someone who would've trained to be a teacher.
> 
> I have a general outline of where I'm going with this now, so unless I'm hit with sudden inspiration of another place I'd like to take this, I except it to come in at around five chapters.
> 
> Finally, feel free to checkout a few Molly Maxwell related gifsets I made on Tumblr [here](http://lovepollution.tumblr.com/tagged/mm-gifsets).


	3. Chapter 3

After their initial date, Molly and Ben had texted back and forth for a couple of days before deciding to meet up again mid-week.

After coffee and a visit to a local gallery, they wandered back to Molly’s apartment.

“This is me,” she gestured to her apartment building. There were a few seconds of awkward silence, both of them unsure of what to say. “Do you-“ she started.

“Would you-” Ben said at the same time, causing them both to laugh bashfully. “You go first,” he offered.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to come up?” She nervously pushed her hair behind her right ear and held her hand there as she continued. “I could order takeout...”

“Yeah, yes,” he stuttered nervously. “I’d like that. I was actually going to ask if you wanted to get some food.”

They made their way up through the apartment building and to Molly’s door with a mild sense of awkwardness between them. Although they had kissed when they’d been at the island, that setting had given them a feeling of otherworldliness, and being back here felt like they were slap bang back in reality.

“Come in, sit down,” Molly said gesturing to the couch after she’d opened her door and tossed her bag to one side.

“This is a nice place,” Ben remarked sincerely.

The surroundings reminded him a lot of the place he’d called home during his time teaching when he’d Molly, although she had managed to infuse her place with a touch more style than he had his own apartment. There were various band posters on the walls (although embarrassingly he only vaguely recognised one of the names, thus he was left feeling old and out of touch). Books were scattered throughout, some on bookshelves and others haphazardly stacked in piles around the living area.

With a few taps to her phone and a button pressed on the stereo, Molly turned on some background music. “These guys are great,” she said making small talk after sitting besides Ben on the sofa. “They signed with my dad a couple of months ago.”

Nodding slowly, he was unsure what to say.

“They’ve got a show next week,” she added a little too enthusiastically in an effort to break the quiet. “I can get tickets if you’d like to go?” 

He grimaced and started to speak but was cut off when she anticipated words. “My dad won’t be there if that’s what you’re worried about,” she said rolling her eyes affectionately.

Ben smiled with relief. “Then yes, I would like that. A lot.”

Nodding rhythmically with a tight smile, Molly looked down at her hands resting in her lap. While they had already shared intimacies on the island and the ferry, the idea of doing so in private held a suddenly crushing weight. During her initial relationship with Ben, despite her younger age, Molly had always been the brave one to try and push things further, but in this moment she felt terrified and in awe of her younger self for her audacity. 

Her thoughts were broken when Ben placed his hand on top of hers and ran his thumb over it in a calming motion.

“Hey,” he said softly, tilting her head gently with his free hand under her chin to meet his gaze.

“Hey,” she whispered back.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” Ben said, his words spewing forth before his mind had chance to engage.

“I really want to kiss you too,” Molly answered simply but truthfully.

This kiss was just as sweet as the one they’d shared on the ferry, but it quickly turned more passionate. It wasn’t long before she was laying on her back with Ben’s weight pressing slightly into her as her fingers touched the hair at the nape of his neck.

He broke away after a few seconds, breathing hard. “I’m sorry...” he apologised, his face still inches from hers.

“What for?” Molly screwed up her face in confusion.

“I don’t want to move things too fast.”

“Ben, I’m not sixteen anymore,” she chided him lightly. “This isn’t too fast.”

He searched her face for reassurance. “You’re sure?” 

“I’m sure,” she told him warmly, finding his hesitance oddly endearing. Slipping out from under him to stand, she grabbed his hand and pulled him up. “C’mon,” she said before leading him in the direction of her bedroom.

As they fell onto the bed kissing, neither of them could help but be reminded of their last time together in a similar situation; and while the surroundings and physicality may have been almost identical, the energy felt different.

There was no hesitancy on Ben’s part this time; while his body and heart may have been willing the last time, his head telling him it was wrong had eventually overruled them. Now, he shed Molly’s clothes with ease, kissing at the bare skin they left behind, each kiss eliciting a tiny shudder from within her.

Molly was pleased to learn his reactions to certain things hadn’t changed, noting that she still knew just where to lightly suck the skin on his collarbone to elect a noise from Ben that sounded like he was about to fall apart.

Once they were finally together, skin touching skin, it felt like coming home to where they had always belonged.

“I hope you’re not planning on going anywhere because I’ve kind of fallen for you,” Ben whispered sometime later as Molly lay in his arms.

“You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried,” she smiled looking up to him before meeting his lips in a kiss. A few seconds of contented silence passed before Ben spoke.

“You were right you know, the last time we met… Before,” he referenced their brief minutes together in the bar the night Molly’s mom had allowed her to break the grounding her dad had set for her. “I was stupid to suggest we could’ve been anything then. A relationship would never have worked… If we’d stayed together, I would have always had this...” he frowned, “guilt that I’d robbed you of that time to find out who you were.”

“Being with you wouldn’t have robbed me of anything,” Molly creased her brow and shook her head. “But...I do think I needed...time? I just knew we couldn’t ever really...work.” She shook her head again. “Not then, with the way things were...” She looked melancholy before perking up slightly. “And...you were right, when we argued because I wanted us to have sex and you didn’t-”

Ben cut her off. “Oh believe me, it’s not that I didn’t  _ want _ to, it’s just that it wouldn’t have been right.”

“I know, it was the right choice. And, as much as sixteen-year-old me would hate to admit it, I do understand better now I’m older.” They kissed. “Plus,” she began playfully, “it’s pretty great you’re not in jail and don’t have a criminal record.”

“That is certainly true,” he laughed, kissing her again. “You know, I’m  _ kind _ of thinking we should run away together,” he said with playfulness in his tone as he closed his eyes and held Molly securely to his chest, his fingers running soothingly up and down her arm.

“Oh yeah?” she chuckled resting her head into the crook of his shoulder.

“We could go to Paris; you could take pictures and I’d write and play music on the side. We could drink far too much wine and eat way too much French food.”

“Mmmhmm, that sounds nice,‘ Molly murmured before sitting up as an idea struck her. “Shit, I forgot all about the food.”

“I’ll order it,” Ben jumped in and reached for his phone. “I know a great place.”

Twenty minutes later, Molly buzzed the delivery guy up to the apartment before Ben, who had slipped on his t-shirt and boxer shorts, insisted she return to bed and that he would bring the food there.

“Here you go,” he laid the containers out in front of them. “I hope you like it.”

“I can’t believe you remembered nachos are my favourite food!” she exclaimed after opening up a cardboard container and being met with the earthy spicy aroma of Mexican food.

As Ben watched Molly smile broadly as she tucked into the food, he felt a warm sense of pleasure that he was able to do something so simple for her that brought her so much joy. He loved that she could still be the passionate ball he’d fallen for years earlier, and that should could so easily pull the corners of his mouth into a smile.

After they finished their food, they showered before returning once more to the security of Molly’s bed. Afternoon stretched into evening as they shared stories and memories both from the recent and more distant past.

“You’re not the only one who engaged in late night social media stalking.” Ben admitted sheepishly at one point. “I looked you up once too.”

“You did?”

“Well, I couldn’t really see much from on your Facebook because we weren’t friends, but what I could see told me you were happy, which...made me happy too.” He smiled after kissing the top of her head. “I wanted to contact you, but I wanted to give you space. I didn’t even know if you’d ever want to see me again...”

Molly frowned in confusion. “Why would you think that?”

“You might have looked back and seen me as some pervy old teacher.” He winced at his own description of himself.

“You know it wasn’t like that.” Molly rolled her eyes. “And being ten-years older than me doesn’t make you ‘old’.” 

Ben swallowed before laying himself bare with the words he was about to say. “You don’t even know how many times I’ve replayed the time we had together over in my mind.”

“Really?”

“And I’ve hated myself for it because god knows I shouldn’t have let it happen when I was your teacher,” he sighed, “but fuck, I’ve never felt like that with anyone else.”

“Even with your fiancée?” Molly asked hopeful of an answer that wouldn’t crush her.

“Truth be told?” he raised his eyebrows and looked at her hesitantly before continuing, ”I’d be lying in bed at night, not able to sleep, with her next to me while I replayed you in my mind.”

Ben thought back to his time with Emma. They had met when she was waitressing at a cafe he’d go to every day to write. She’d asked him where he was from and he’d explained that although he was originally from Newcastle, he’d been based in Toronto until recently, which had of course lead to her excitedly telling him that that was where she came from.

From that, they began to chat more and more during his daily visits before he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. They dated for six months and it felt right when he’d proposed and she had accepted. She wanted to move back to Toronto to be close to her family again, her time in Paris being a temporary jaunt to experience something new, so he had agreed.

Once they got to Toronto, things fell apart fairly quickly. It didn’t take a therapist to work out they had both been swept along with the romance of Paris, so the relationship didn’t stand a chance with day-to-day doldrums. Ben seeing echoes of the life he’d left behind upon returning to Toronto didn’t help either; it was hard to move on when confronted with memories of your not-quite-girlfriend-but-probable-love-of-your-life on every corner.

He and Emma had parted on good terms, although like many relationships, while they said they’d still talk, they never did.

“I was so worried you would have forgotten about me, moved on...” Molly said modestly breaking his thoughts.

“I couldn’t if I tried, and I did.” He cupped her face in his hand before kissing her tenderly. “You’re a handgrenade remember Molly Maxwell,” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dialogue in this chapter is some of my favourite because I just love writing them talking one-on-one like this, so I hope you enjoyed it. I think there may be only one more chapter to this, possibly two, I'm going to see how it plays out when I pull it together.


	4. Chapter 4

It was several weeks since the couple had reunited, and Molly and Ben had barely spent a night apart.

While their relationship held some of the excitement of exploring territories new, it also felt familiarly comfortable and effortless. There was something about spending time together that made each of them drop any walls they’d built up and show even parts of themselves they considered imperfect.

“That was,” Molly grinned, her cheeks flushed in the afterglow of their love making with a fine veil of sweat coating her skin, “incredible.”

“Mmmhmm,” Ben hummed in content agreement.

“I’ve never...” She paused shyly. “That’s never happened before…Well, like  _ that _ , with anyone I mean.”

“Are you serious?” Ben said shocked sitting up to better see her face. Looking up at him, Molly bit her lip and nodded. “Fuck, what kind off...” he shook his head. “I mean, it’s an amazing privilege that I was able to do that for you, but you shouldn’t have had to wait for me to do it.”

He was right of course, and the guys she’d been with hadn’t been bad people so much as inexperienced and a little self absorbed. Not that there had been a lot of them; she’d only slept with three people before him, one of those being the random guy she’d drunkenly lost her virginity to after their fight, and she wasn’t even sure how much that counted since it was over so quickly and alcohol had rendered her with very little memory of it.

Her thoughts turned to her last, and most serious, boyfriend James. He had been what felt like the very definition of ‘nice’. He’d done everything right: he bought her flowers on her birthday, he opened doors for her, he impressed her father by making a special effort to read up on the bands he worked with before they met, he cooked her dinner anytime they were home together, even going so far as to clean up after himself immaculately. But all of this meant nothing because no matter how she tried, she couldn’t love him the way she should have.

Just like the rest of the relationship, the sex had been fine - good even - but still lacking something she could never quantify. Having slept with Ben however, she could now see that the ingredient missing was the right person.

“You can stay again tonight, if you’d like?” Ben asked Molly, quietly confident she’d say yes.

“I’d like that,” she said bending to kiss his shoulder before getting up and going to the bathroom.

They had been splitting their time fairly evenly between their respective apartments, an arrangement that felt natural to them both. It was a blessing, Molly thought, that neither of them held conventional nine-to-five jobs, meaning it was easy for them to bask in the warmth of their newly rediscovered feelings.

Later in the evening, after they’d consumed takeout from their favourite Thai place, they were reading quietly while sitting on the sofa, the sky turning twilight outside the large window of Ben’s loft apartment. Indie music played soothingly in the background as Molly lay with her legs stretched out across Ben’s lap. After some deliberation, she finally mustered the courage to ask him something she had been wondering for a while.

“Did you ever…?” she began cautiously.

Ben responded by looking up from his book and making eye contact with her, his brows raised quizzically.

Molly shook her head. “It’s dumb, it doesn’t matter.”

“No, go on.”

She sighed before forcing out the question that wouldn’t let her mind rest: “Did you ever tell her about me? Your fiancée I mean.”

Ben closed his book to give her his full attention as he answered. “I told her I had been through a messy break-up and that I had come to Paris for a fresh start.” He paused. “But if you mean the...other stuff, our circumstances, then no.” He sighed. “I tried a couple of times, but there was no way I could find to word it that didn’t make me sound...” he trailed off not wanting to say the words.

“Like a pervert,” Molly said flatly and Ben cringed. “I get it,” she shrugged. “I thought about telling James - my last boyfriend - about us so many times, but no matter which way I put the words together, it sounded like you’d taken advantage of me...which is so not how it was. At all.”

“Yeah.” He pulled her close. “I wish we’d met some other way though. Maybe we’d have been just two people whose Starbucks orders got mixed up.”

Molly laughed. “You’ve really thought about this huh? It sounds like the start of some romantic comedy.”

“Well, maybe not that way  _ exactly _ , but something...easier, more conventional. A situation in which I didn’t risk going to jail for being with you.”

Molly smiled sadly at his words. “I still have this guilt about what we did, you losing your job over it,” she confessed.

“Well technically, I resigned,” Ben corrected her.

“OK, so you didn’t jump but you were pushed,” she rolled her eyes feeling irrationally annoyed that he wouldn’t validate her guilt, “but it was all because of me.”

“Molly listen,” he put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her squarely. “You have  _ nothing _ to feel guilty for:  _ I _ was the one in the position of responsibility,  _ I _ was the one who should’ve stopped it.”

“I definitely pursued you more than you did me though...” she said, wavering slightly in her self hatred.

He cupped her cheek tenderly. “It was still up to me to say no, you have to know that.”

“Can we just say that maybe we were both to blame?” she offered as a compromise as she wasn’t ready to let go of all of her baggage just yet. “For now at least?”

“If that will make you happy,” Ben conceded. “For now at least,” he echoed her words as a reminder of sorts that he didn’t plan to let her feel her guilt forever.

“Thank you.” Molly kissed him before they hunkered down once again into the bed covers and each other’s arms.

An idea came to Molly later that day, but it was one that she mulled over for almost a week until deciding the time was right to put it to Ben.

“Would you come for dinner with my parents on Saturday?” she finally asked one morning as they got coffee.

Ben was visibly shocked. “Uh Molly, I don’t know if that’s a good idea...”

“Why not? I’m not sixteen anymore.”

Ben grimaced. “I know, but still… Your parents are gonna hate me.”

“My parents  _ loved _ you, especially my dad,” she reasoned.

“Yeah, but that was  _ before _ he thought I was having an illegal relationship with his daughter.”

Molly rolled her eyes. “Well it’s not illegal anymore, we’re both adults.” Ben frowned in response. “C’mon Ben, please?” she pleaded.

“I…” he sighed defeated. “OK.”

“OK?” she echoed hopefully.

“OK,” he reaffirmed sealing with a kiss. “I suppose I knew it’d have to happen sooner to later, but I can’t say I’m not nervous.” He clasped her hand. “You know, I’d love to take you back home one day,” he paused before clarifying, “to where I’m from in Huddersfield.”

“I’d really like that.”

“And I could introduce you to my parents, and my sister. I could show you all the places of my misspent youth.”

“Misspent youth? You?!” Molly scoffed with a raised brow.

He laughed. “Alright, not misspent, but the places I spent my...unsurprisingly PG rated youth.” 

A week later, Ben scrunched up his face as he walked towards the door of Molly’s parents house, struck with the fact he’d forgotten to ask her a very obvious question about the reintroduction he was about to face. “Do they know I’m coming?”

Molly thought of her words carefully before she responded: “They know I’m bringing someone I’ve been seeing who I want them to meet.”

“Molly...”

“Ben, it’ll be fine.” She gave him a look of wide eyed pleading. “Trust me?”

Resigned, he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “OK, it’s not like I can back out now anyway.”

Molly beamed and kissed him briefly on the lips before ringing the doorbell. 

Seconds later, Evan Maxwell opened the door, the smile on his face falling the moment he saw Ben.

“Dad, you remember Ben,” Molly offered as they made their way inside as her shocked father closed the front door behind them.

“I do remember Ben,” Evan confirmed. “Marilyn, Molly’s here!” he called to her mother in the kitchen.

“It’s so good to see you!” Marilyn Maxwell came to embrace her daughter in the hallway, only noticing an uncomfortable Ben standing behind Molly once she had greeted her. “Ben, it’s...nice to see you again,” she nodded politely towards him.

“It’s nice to see you again…” Ben said, “Mrs. Maxwell,” he added uneasily.

“Please, Marilyn is fine,” she insisted. “I need to go and finish dinner, you go and sit at the table,” she said motioning towards it.

Molly firmly gripped Ben’s hand in her own and offered him a reassuring look before they followed on behind her father.

“No Aiden?” Molly said noticing her brother’s absence from the table as she entered the dining area.

“No, he couldn’t make it, some big test he’s got to study for,” Evan said. “Or at least that’s what he told me when he called this morning, but I suspect his absence has more to do with the large quantities of alcohol he likely put away last night.”

“He’s enjoying college then?” Ben enquired as they took their seats at the table.

“Oh, he’s enjoying it, a little too much probably,” Evan replied dryly.

Both Ben and Molly laughed before an uneasiness fell, and Molly bit her lip in contemplation before finally deciding to speak.

“I’ll be back in a minute, I’ve just gotta use the bathroom,” she excused herself as getting up from the table. Ben’s expression silently pleaded with her not to leave him alone with her father, but all Molly could do was silently mouth “I’m sorry” because that cup of coffee she’d had on the drive over meant she really  _ did _ need to go.

A tense silence came over the men who remained in the room.

“Wine?” Evan offered Ben.

Ben shook his head. “Oh no, not for me, I’m driving.”

Evan nodded, pleased to see his daughter’s boyfriend was doing the sensible thing.

Internally grimacing, Ben took it upon himself to break the tension. “I know this might seem strange,” he said.

“Strange would be one word for it...” Evan said as he continued to pour the wine.

“But you need to know, nothing...” Ben paused rethinking his words, knowing that to say ‘nothing happened’ would be a lie. “We never crossed the line, before.”

Evan paused from pouring the wine and looked at him wordlessly.

“I love your daughter,” he stopped shocked at the words that had just come out. “I haven’t even told her that myself, but I do. But God knows I wish I didn’t because I could avoid this,” he gestured between them, “and the chance that people will think I’ve taken advantage of Molly, but...there’s just something with her I’ve never felt with anyone else.”

“I believe you, and I believe you love her,” he said. “And I even believe you when you say you never ‘crossed the line’, but I’m just going to need a little time to adjust to this. She’s still my little girl and I’ve never been crazy about any of her boyfriends, and now she’s with you; you’re ten years older, and the way you met...”

“I understand, but just know I’d never hurt her.”

“I know,” Evan said with a sigh. “And as much as I hate to admit it, you haven’t even been here for five minutes and I can tell how much you love Molly from the way you look at her. It reminds me of myself and Marilyn truth be told.”

Ben was genuinely shocked to hear something so encouraging. “Oh, wow.”

“Do you know, Marilyn is a few years my junior, so her parents weren’t too thrilled when we started dating. But you get older...” he said smiling and shaking his head, “and you build a life, and suddenly those years couldn’t be less important.”

Ben smiled and nodded, appreciative of such positivity.

“Evan, can you come and help me?” Marilyn called from the kitchen.

“I can go,” Ben offered.

“Oh no that’s fine, you stay seated,” Evan told him with a kind smile.

“I’m sorry about that,” Molly half-whispered to Ben as she came to sit down next to him seconds later. “I shouldn’t have drunk so much coffee on the way here.”

“It’s fine,” Ben said squeezing her hand under the table. “We actually had a pretty nice talk.”

“Yeah?” Molly beamed hopefully.

“Yeah,” he replied leaning in for a brief kiss.

“I hope you’re hungry,” Marilyn said as she carried the food to the table, her husband trailing behind. “I think I overdid it a little bit.”

The dinner passed surprisingly easily, with even the questions about Ben’s recent work and travel history not causing any discomfort to the light atmosphere.

Later, while her father showed Ben some music videos from bands he’d recently signed, Molly helped her mother clean up.

“So, you and Ben…” Marilyn said as she concentrated on loading the dishwasher.

“Mom…” Molly rolled her eyes and began to get defensive. “I’m not sixteen anymore.”

“I know that,” the older woman sighed, turning to look at her daughter. “Would you let me speak instead of deciding what I’m going to say?”

Molly nodded concedingly.

“It was a surprise seeing the two of you together, but...I can tell you make each other very happy.”

“You can?” Molly said shocked.

Marilyn nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you much happier actually. So, for what it’s worth, I fully support you. Your dad might be a bit harder to win over but I can already feel him coming round.”

“Thank you,” Molly responded warmly and enveloped her mother in a hug. “There’s just something about the way Ben makes me feel...he’s just different.”

“I know honey.” Marilyn smiled.

“Whenever I thought of him these past few years, I wondered if it was just me romanticising this stupid teenage crush or something, but then I saw him and again and just…” she motioned an approximation of an explosion with her hands, “bam, that was it.”

“I think, sometimes, when it’s that right person? When you know, you know,” the older woman smiled pushing a stand of hair behind her daughter’s ear.

“Yeah, I think so too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has been waiting for this, I'm sorry for the delay but I've had a few health issues that have made it hard for me to get this chapter finished, but please know that I most certainly had not forgotten about this and very much plan to finish it off (I'm thinking one more chapter after this should tie it up).
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Comments and kudos are always very welcome! :)


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